


Certainty & Nonsense

by Josh89



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Don't copy to another site, Episode Fix-it, F/M, Originally Posted Elsewhere, Post-Case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21510985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josh89/pseuds/Josh89
Summary: AU, Season 4, just after the events of 47 Seconds. Having found out that Kate has been lying to him about not remembering anything, Castle walks angrily out of the Precinct, and Kate goes running after him.
Relationships: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle
Kudos: 11





	Certainty & Nonsense

Rick yawned. “Right. Well, I’m going to head off”.  
Kate reached for her jacket instantly. “I’ll walk you out”.  
“After you lied to me? I don’t think so. Night”.  
And with that, he strode off towards the elevator, leaving Detective Beckett stunned. “What the hell did you do, Beckett?” Esposito queried.  
“I’m asking myself the same question”.  
It was then that it hit her. “Oh god. Was he in the Observation Room when I was interrogating Bobby?”  
“Yeah. I told him you were in the interrogation room. I don’t think he wanted to disturb you”.  
Beckett paled. “I have to go after him. Cover for me?”  
“Got it, boss”.  
~Five minutes later~  
“Castle, wait!”  
The author whirled to face the detective who had called his name. “What the hell do you want? Isn’t the fact you lied to me enough?”  
“Please. I can explain.”  
“What’s to explain? The fact that you told me you didn’t remember what happened when you were shot explains everything. I love you, Kate. But I can’t be around you anymore, knowing that you’ll never feel the same way I do”.  
“Is that what you really think, Castle? That I don’t feel the same way about you, that I’m not in love with you?” she queried.  
“I know so”.  
“You’re wrong. I… God, Castle, I never meant to hurt you”.  
He snorted. “Yeah, great job there, Detective”.  
He turned to walk away, but her next words caused him to pause. “I’m sorry, Castle. I’m so sorry. I was recovering from a gunshot wound and I was a fucking mess. And I was a goddamned idiot for lying to you for all these months. But I never wanted to hurt you. Not now, not the day after being shot, not half an hour ago, not ever. I… I’ve been seeing a therapist and getting his help to try and put my shooting and my mother’s case behind me, so I can be the kind of person I want to be in the relationship I’ve dreamed of having. A relationship with you”.  
“Just like you said on the swings that day…” he muttered.  
“Exactly. I don’t deserve you, Castle. Not the way I am. I’m broken, flawed, scared, alone…”  
He couldn’t stay mad at her. Not now. Not when she was being so very honest with him. “Yet I love you in spite of those flaws. You don’t have to try to be perfect for me, Kate. I love you for everything you are. And you are never alone. I swear it, Kate, I will always be there for you whenever, and wherever, you need me” he said.  
“I love you too. I know you can never forgive me for lying to you about whether I remembered what you said to me after I was shot, but I really mean that. I love you, Rick. You’re my best friend and my partner, and I am head over heels in love with you. And it scares me because I’ve never been so deeply in love with someone in my life and yet not wanted to push them away. That’s why I lied. I was stupid, and I was scared of what would happen to us if a relationship between the two of us didn’t work out. Our friendship, our partnership, means a lot to me, and I didn’t want to risk losing it” she whispered, moving over to him, putting a hand on his arm.  
Rick nodded. He’d been so angry that he hadn’t stopped to think that maybe she had lied to him because she was in love with him, not because she wasn’t. That she had lied to him because she didn’t want to risk losing what they had if a relationship between the two of them turned sour. “I’m sorry too, Kate. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I shouldn’t have stormed out without giving you a chance to explain. You’re wrong, though. I can forgive you. Now that I understand why you didn’t say anything, I have no reason not to forgive you. I’ll wait for you to be ready. As long as it takes”.  
The detective bit her lip nervously. He couldn’t help but smile at her. It made her look adorable when she did that. Well, more adorable than normal, anyway. “What if I don’t want you to? What if I don’t want myself to?”  
“Kate, what are you talking about?”  
“I don’t want to wait anymore”.  
“Then what do you want?”  
“I want this. Me and you. Us. A life where I don’t have to obsess about my mother’s case anymore. A life where I can finally put aside the demons of my past and have a chance at building a future with the man I’ve fallen in love with. Castle… I want you”.  
He kissed her, passionately, with such strength that she might have collapsed then and there. “Let’s go home”  
Oh, how she would have loved to stay just like that, in his arms, forever. But things had to be done. “Esposito’s probably still angry with you for storming out like that. And if we do go back to the loft now, he’ll be angry with me for not telling him that we’re all good again. Besides, I asked him to cover for me while I ran after you, I kind of owe him an explanation” she muttered.  
He nodded solemnly. “Tell you what. Let’s go back to the Precinct. I’ll tell him that we talked it over and that I’m sorry for storming out as I did, and then we can finish up the paperwork left over from the case we just closed and go back to the loft for dinner, just the two of us. And after that… well, I think you get the idea”.  
She grinned impishly at his suggestion. “We? You’re actually going to help with the paperwork for once?”  
“If by help you mean to ask if I’m going to stare at you while you finish whatever paperwork there is, then yes”.  
Shrugging, she reached for him, grabbing his hand, resisting the urge to press her lips against his again. There would be plenty of time for that later when it was just the two of them. There would be plenty of time for that later, and so much more as well. “Good enough”.


End file.
